Another Pathetic Satire
by Elizabeth Notrab
Summary: All I'm going to say is that I have watched one too many episodes of Star Trek...


AN: I never expected this kind of reaction from my first strange story. Maybe I found my niche. All I have to say is – ACK! Also anything in parenthesis is me interrupting. 

Ron was walking down the halls. (Harry was going to boycott if I did this to him again. Also, I reserve the right to bring back anyone that I might kill off.) He stopped as he came to a fuzzy light in the middle of the hallway. Fuzzy lights being a normal occurance at Hogwarts, Ron was going to keep going but the light began to clear up and it was a person. 

The light-person looked at Ron and his eyes widened. Ron saw him touch the upside- down V on his shirt and start talking. 

"This is the wrong place. This is so not Wooootoknalavunuz Three! You idiot! The mission is ruined. Scotty, beam me up!" 

"Who are you talking to?" asked Ron 

"Scotty," said the light-person. 

"Your little pin is named Scotty?" 

"No. Scotty is the person on the other side of the pin." 

"On the inside of you shirt?" 

"No, the pin is a way to communicate with someone far away." 

"Oh," said Ron. (I think it's time that the plot…we'll call it that for lack of a better word…moves on.) 

The light person looked at Ron and said, "You look human. I'm Ensign Green. What domain am I in?" 

Ron looked befuddled. "What domain?" 

"Yes, I'm from Star Trek fan fiction. What domain is this?" 

"This is Harry Potter fan fiction. You're a long way from home." Just then, Harry, and Hermione walk in. 

"Hi Ron," said Harry. He turned to Ensign Green. "So how did you like Potions today. That Snape, huh?" 

"What are you talking about?" demanded Ensign Green. "I'm not a student here!" 

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were one of those exchange students whose names I forget," said Harry. 

"You know, if you studied harder, your brain would expand and you'd be able to remember more people's names," said Hermione. Everyone looked at her like she was insane. (At this point they all introduce themselves. I'm skipping it, because itt was very silly and ended with Hermione and Harry introducing themselves to one another, and Ron and Harry introducing themselves to one another.) 

"I'm thirsty." Ensign Green coughed a little and then continued. "Is there any chance of getting Mountain Dew here?" The trio looked very worried. 

"The Coke machine's broken," they all said at the same time. 

"Still?!" Ensign Green demanded. 

"What do you mean 'still?' You didn't know it was broken," said Ron. 

"You're Voldemort aren't you?" Harry asked. Ensign Green started to protest, but he decided to come out with the truth (Tell me honestly, who saw this coming?) 

"Yes, I'm Voldemort. Blast it, you kids know everything. It's the Pepsi company that always foils me. Stupid Mountain Dew, with it's cool refreshing taste and snappy commercials." Said Ensign Green/Voldemort. 

Just then, a band of strange aliens ran by and started a fight with the four people in the hall. In the ensuing battle, Voldemort fell and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were forced to ward them off. (It took very little time because after a while the stunt doubles got mad because I forgot to pay them this month. Sorry for the lack of action.) 

"Ron!" barked Harry. "Check Ensign Green, I mean Voldemort." 

"I'm a doctor, Harry, not a mechanic!" Ron yelled. He looked at Ensign Green/Voldemort and then back at Harry. "Oh, yeah, I guess that would be my job." He knelt down and checked for a pulse. "Nope. Dead." 

"Isn't it strange," mused Harry, "that a group of roving aliens could kill the most powerful dark wizard of all time?" 

"No, Harry, it's quite logical actually. Voldemort, as Ensign Green, was wearing red. And it's well known, among all original Star Trek fans that if you are an ensign, wear red, and go on a mission with the three main characters you're going to be the one to die," said Hermione logically. 

The three of them walked off to the quidditch fields to watch Harry practice and on the way Ron asked, "What's Star Trek?" 

AN: Ack! I'm sorry. But I was watching Star Trek the other day, and this is pretty much the conversation that goes on between me and my dad when we watch it together. It was in my head. Anyway we watch for the guy in red and then we wait for him to die. It really fun even though it sounds morbid. Anyway, review if you want. These weird things are just my way of staying in with ff.net when I'm in the middle of a really long serious story. If you don't like it, I'm sorry, but don't flame me. ~Elizabeth. 


End file.
